This Is NOT A Book
This Is A Rut-Busting Part Of The Cure For Writer's Block
Brain Spanking - Volumes 1 - 4
FAIR WARNING: THIS IS NOT A STORY
This is a compilation of the four "Brain Spanking" un-books, all of which have been retired and will never be published again.
THIS UN-BOOK WILL HELP YOU BREAK YOUR WRITER'S BLOCK
The books in this collection have always been a secret part of my natural cure for writer's block. And they can be a part of yours. You don't even have to write any one liners.
The next time you find yourself stuck, open this book, pick a volume, read as much as you need to and, I guarantee you, if you don't have an idea that moves you forward, you'll definitely experience the one thing you need: A pattern interrupt.
FINAL WARNING: If you read this book from start to finish, you will most probably go insane. Enjoy!
Humour / Self Help
Split The Middle
In every murder investigation, there are procedures to follow—and then there are the ways things get done.
Michael Dooley, a drunken ex-con, has lost his wife, his child, and everything he cares about. His life has hit rock bottom... he thinks. When he stumbles upon the scene of a horrific murder, he realises that the bottom is a lot farther down than he'd ever imagined.
Split between the lower-class urban wasteland of the village of Broker, and the spit-and-polished elegance of the city of Brittwood, the location of the body brings bitter ex-partners Payden Beck and Bryan Verrill back together as joint detectives on the case. Their darkly storied past makes for an explosive investigation, one that turns into a maelstrom of suspicion, double-crosses, threats, intimidation, violence, and a mad dash to close the case by whatever means necessary.
With the pressure building, the race to find the killer threatens to shred the lives of everyone it touches—bringing back secrets long since buried.
From the very beginning, only one thing is ever certain: everyone has something to lose.
Mandi Wexler grew up in a dysfunctional household, suffering unspeakable abuse. As she grew older, she lost more and more pieces of her soul until at last she matured into a hollow, haunted shell of a human being. Now she is an abused automaton who bends to the will of vicious and evil men, shutting out the good in the world and resigning herself to a life of misery, giving up all hope of becoming the vibrant young woman she could have been.
Michael Skyler grew up in a military family, becoming used to never setting down roots, never alone yet always lonely, but never lacking for love and care. When he meets Mandi, he finds himself deeply drawn to her, even though he is hard pressed to explain why.
Mandi tries her best to drive Michael away, not wanting him to see the scars on her body and soul. But the more Michael pursues her, the more she finds herself falling for him. Yet winning Mandi's love is not going to be easy for Michael, even if he can help free her from her self-imposed enslavement, for deep within Mandi lurks personal demons more menacing than any man ever could be.
Will Michael be driven away by Mandi's dark secret, or will his love finally help Mandi replace the missing pieces of her heart?
Happily ever after. The hard way.
David Fitz and Juno Conjay quit the drugs, and each other, and life is beginning to get strange
David Fitz is a small time drug dealer and con artist who funds his habits and that of his girlfriend, Juno, through drug sales and petty crime. Both are eager to get clean and start a new life, far away from the dangers of the city.
They hatch a plan, with an ambitious police officer, to provide evidence against David’s boss. Together they will bring him to justice in return for witness protection. It sounds simple enough, but as soon as they kick their habits Juno gets cold feet. She decides that she no longer wants to rat on David’s boss, or to be a part of David’s life anymore, though she knows that staying together is the only way to stay alive and that the original plan will have to be carried out.
Things get even worse when the cop they are working with leaves them in the middle of nowhere, with no money, no real protection and no long-term plan. When David’s boss is released on bail after just 24 hours they know he will soon be after them. And when he phones them at their new home, they find that there is yet another twist in their already complicated situation.
In their seemingly nice new neighbourhood, David and Juno befriend Cadence and Brent. The couple seem friendly enough, but why are they so keen to help when they themselves could face untold dangers?
With ever dwindling options, and David’s boss closing in on them, he and Juno are forced into trusting their new neighbours with their lives. Their strange alliance has to be better than the certain death they are facing if David's boss finds them
Then again, it could be much, much worse.
Short Story Collections
Official Cover Art Coming Very Soon!
Do you feel like a little light reading, or do you prefer your short stories dark?
When the average circular saw tears through flesh, meat or anything that lives, breathes and bleeds, no matter how long you let it run afterward, the teeth will be sparkling clean when it finally comes to a stop. But the evidence of the damage is still there. Because of its functional design, the blood wells up in the gullets. Those places where the teeth intersect.
The stories in this collection don't represent the teeth.
They represent the spaces in between.
The places where things can get ugly.
Still, and this is just common sense, watch out for the teeth. Without them doing the heavy lifting, the gullets never get fed.
・ How can you commit the perfect crime when you don't know you're doing it?
・ When every day is your first, how can you be sure it won't be your last?
・ If God and the Devil worked together to achieve world peace, how could we to stop them? And why would we?
・ When humanity develops the perfect mind virus, how could you ensure anyone's survival?
・ How can you ever really exact revenge on a dead man? And how many times is enough?
These are just a few of the recesses explored in this collection of dark speculative fiction by author Michael Golvach
Coming Very Soon!